The biggest antidote to your own tendency to tailgate is to always leave reasonably early, allowing more time, which often also results in less traffic being on the road as well. People who take their time going to work, or home afterwards, have just as much right to the road as the rushers, no matter how the tailgaters try to make you feel otherwise.
And isn't that the point? Control your own emotions. Take an anger-management course; at least go to group therapy (which can often be done free of charge). Wouldn't you rather get to work actually ready for work? And wouldn't rather get home to your family looking forward to you getting there rather than dreading the sight of you, you overly-stressed-out grouch?
While being tailgated, stay logical, avoid strong emotion. Keep a clear head while deciding to do the windshield-washer thing or the get-out-the-way choice. Not very often, but I have actually been thanked by or received an apology from some who had been tailgating, but at-least-temporarily changed their mode of driving.
One way that has worked is that while being tailgated, take as-safe-as-possible opportunities to set the courteous example to 3rd parties in front of you; doing this has often produced discernible remorse in the driver behind, and had caused increased 'breathing space' for you both.